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  #21  
Old 07-06-2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Kumpf
I'd hate to be nail with Alison as the hammer.
LOL Where did that come from?
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  #22  
Old 07-06-2006
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Originally Posted by KeepItWegging
Thanks guys you really cheered me up. I just wish I can find someone speical. I don't care if found him in the National Guard or in Animal Control. I thought I'll just be happy with animals as kids, but after my sister had kids my thoughts changed./ I wanted kids and marriage. I even give Adoption a thought,...but, still I would also like my own child. I proubly adopt(Speical needs child) and have my own.. either my natural or A.I. Made the dead line about if I'm not married by 36 years old,...I find a cute one and well you know. But, I thought about that, that be like trinking a guy,..But, I have no plans telling the guy he going be a father and just take care the child myself or I will tell him,.. and let him decided what he wants,..Be there for his kid or not. If he wants to walk ,...fine. There's a lot single mothers that do hell of a great job, better then non-single moms. I plan to have a lot kids,..thew myself and adoption.
That biological clock.. tick tick tick...

Take a deep breath, chica... It sounds like you're getting yourself worked up, which will only be a turn off to a guy who actually is interested. You're already planning the demise of a relationship you don't even have yet, which will do nothing but sabotage the relationship you do find.

Just focus on finding someone you click with - I know the kid thing is a priority, and you can make that clear to whoever you find - but it's gotta be right between the two of YOU before kids enter into it at all.
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  #23  
Old 07-06-2006
KeepItWegging KeepItWegging is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A. Gianotto
Quote:
Originally Posted by KeepItWegging
Thanks guys you really cheered me up. I just wish I can find someone speical. I don't care if found him in the National Guard or in Animal Control. I thought I'll just be happy with animals as kids, but after my sister had kids my thoughts changed./ I wanted kids and marriage. I even give Adoption a thought,...but, still I would also like my own child. I proubly adopt(Speical needs child) and have my own.. either my natural or A.I. Made the dead line about if I'm not married by 36 years old,...I find a cute one and well you know. But, I thought about that, that be like trinking a guy,..But, I have no plans telling the guy he going be a father and just take care the child myself or I will tell him,.. and let him decided what he wants,..Be there for his kid or not. If he wants to walk ,...fine. There's a lot single mothers that do hell of a great job, better then non-single moms. I plan to have a lot kids,..thew myself and adoption.

That biological clock.. tick tick tick...

Take a deep breath, chica... It sounds like you're getting yourself worked up, which will only be a turn off to a guy who actually is interested. You're already planning the demise of a relationship you don't even have yet, which will do nothing but sabotage the relationship you do find.

Just focus on finding someone you click with - I know the kid thing is a priority, and you can make that clear to whoever you find - but it's gotta be right between the two of YOU before kids enter into it at all.
Yah I know,..I dated many types of men.. From a city trash collector to a fighter pilot LOL!
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  #24  
Old 07-06-2006
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Who you date (or rather what they do for a living) isn't the issue - my point is just to focus on finding the guy that makes you happy first.

If I may be frank - if you need a sperm donor, you can easily find one. If you're looking for that special someone, how you feel about them and how they feel about you has to come before the kid thing.

Just MHO tho. I'm certainly no Dear Abby.
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  #25  
Old 07-06-2006
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Perhaps its just me but I have found the whole relationships and kids thing to be over-rated. Think of a pool of very think syrup that eases up between the flloor boards. You try to clean it up but it keeps coming. You wake up in the middle of the night and step in it. On the way to put on your shoes, with your clean socks on, you step in it. You can't avoid it and the sticky remnants of it on your feet, socks, shoes follows you everywhere for the rest of your life.

Okay, I'll admit that I am the ultimate introvert, ME time is precious and rare with the husband of 25 years, three kids, 2 dogs and 13 birds. I don't think I could ever be a hoarder, At this point in my life, at age 49, all I want is simplicity and solitude. I could even do without pets right now. Is that an awful way to feel? Maybe I am on my way to the pit of depression, or maybe not, maybe we are all just different.
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  #26  
Old 07-06-2006
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Oh Ellie - that's not weird at all, and I don't think it indicates depression at all (unless there are several other symptoms you haven't mentioned.) There is nothing wrong with wanting - no, NEEDING, "ME" time. I haven't been married for even a fraction of the amount of time you have been married - I have no children (no thanks.. had him fixed before I married him), but I do have step-kids - and I find myself CONSTANTLY needing time away from the chaos. And I'm not even an introvert - not by a long stretch. Time for introspection and reflection (or just vegging out) is hightly underrated, but is essential (IMHO, anyway) for happiness.

I think our lives get so wrapped up in our roles... husband, wife, mother, father, animal control officer, friend, aunt, uncle, whatever... we get so busy taking care of other people (in whatever capacity that might mean) that we neglect ourselves. That ME time is essential to being able to remember who YOU are, casting all of those titles aside, and just getting to be you, with yourself.

Again, JHMO
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  #27  
Old 07-06-2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeepItWegging
Thanks guys you really cheered me up. I just wish I can find someone speical. I don't care if found him in the National Guard or in Animal Control. I thought I'll just be happy with animals as kids, but after my sister had kids my thoughts changed./ I wanted kids and marriage. I even give Adoption a thought,...but, still I would also like my own child. I proubly adopt(Speical needs child) and have my own.. either my natural or A.I. Made the dead line about if I'm not married by 36 years old,...I find a cute one and well you know. But, I thought about that, that be like trinking a guy,..But, I have no plans telling the guy he going be a father and just take care the child myself or I will tell him,.. and let him decided what he wants,..Be there for his kid or not. If he wants to walk ,...fine. There's a lot single mothers that do hell of a great job, better then non-single moms. I plan to have a lot kids,..thew myself and adoption.
Ok,

Using deception to start a new life, because it is something you want, and not giving the "significant other" a say in this seems like about one of the most selfish and unfair things you could do to both the man and the child who is going to someday ask about their other parent.... If you are serious, I'd stick to the AI thing, or ADOPT or even FOSTER.

~K
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  #28  
Old 07-06-2006
KeepItWegging KeepItWegging is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ksbirdhse
Quote:
Originally Posted by KeepItWegging
Thanks guys you really cheered me up. I just wish I can find someone speical. I don't care if found him in the National Guard or in Animal Control. I thought I'll just be happy with animals as kids, but after my sister had kids my thoughts changed./ I wanted kids and marriage. I even give Adoption a thought,...but, still I would also like my own child. I proubly adopt(Speical needs child) and have my own.. either my natural or A.I. Made the dead line about if I'm not married by 36 years old,...I find a cute one and well you know. But, I thought about that, that be like trinking a guy,..But, I have no plans telling the guy he going be a father and just take care the child myself or I will tell him,.. and let him decided what he wants,..Be there for his kid or not. If he wants to walk ,...fine. There's a lot single mothers that do hell of a great job, better then non-single moms. I plan to have a lot kids,..thew myself and adoption.
Ok,

Using deception to start a new life, because it is something you want, and not giving the "significant other" a say in this seems like about one of the most selfish and unfair things you could do to both the man and the child who is going to someday ask about their other parent.... If you are serious, I'd stick to the AI thing, or ADOPT or even FOSTER.

~K
even with AI the kid will ask.. why would getting it the fun way LOL any diff???
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  #29  
Old 07-08-2006
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Default Re: Crazy v. CRAZY

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Kumpf
Sorry to destroy your faith in me, but after trying to pack for the last several weeks - I AM A HOARDER. Oh its not animals (yet) but I have a serious problem with animal related stuff. TOO MUCH OF IT! I re-read the definition of a hoarder and then omitted the animal reference and substituted my circumstances. I need professional help! And a big BFI dumpster. This move has been a wakeup call. I've chucked a bunch of stuff. Boy will the people at the local library freak when I drop off all the animal welfare magazines in the exchange box.

Awww, see, that last part, where you talk about the wakeup call, that knocks you outta the "hoarder" class Mark. Sorry. Better Luck, next time.

I think today ALL Americans seem to have Too Much Stuff. But some of us do weed out periodically. Now, my Mom .... SHE really had too much stuff. I am all for conservation and Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, but this lady had every plastic bag she had ever brought something home in, I think, and all of the little plates from every frozen entree. We've gotten that stuff out, but I saw, up close and personal, how someone -- particularly if her mental capacity is diminishing -- could "forget" she already had fifteen of something. (She lives with me now, and so we're more able to edit out a lot of the collecting; and she hasn't had pets in some time, so animals weren't an issue).

Oh, yeah, I am sure that we are all a little on the crazy side (then again, a LOT of professions call for being a little like that, IMO). And, as long as we worry about being crazy, I think, for the most part, we're generally safe.
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  #30  
Old 07-08-2006
carrie_cat carrie_cat is offline
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Default I LOOOOOVE "ME" TIME

Quote:
Originally Posted by A. Gianotto
I think our lives get so wrapped up in our roles... husband, wife, mother, father, animal control officer, friend, aunt, uncle, whatever... we get so busy taking care of other people (in whatever capacity that might mean) that we neglect ourselves. That ME time is essential to being able to remember who YOU are, casting all of those titles aside, and just getting to be you, with yourself.

Again, JHMO
Well, I agree very much. Wanting to be alone is not at all a bad thing (even, wanting to be without a pet -- at least, for a limited amount of time!). I had a good friend in one organization I was part of, and we used to laugh because we were usually the ones calling and organizing and leading their meetings, and yet, we confided to each other, we ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY had to have our "alone" time every so often -- we wondered if it was because we are both "only children." But, I think non-onlies can feel this way, too.

I think it's when you start denying yourself any "me" time that you begin down the slide into being truly crazy. You do see it a lot in rescue circles, I'm afraid -- some sort of guilt at not being able to "save them all." What makes someone think that the whole responsibility can fall only on his or her shoulders? Or that if you take a vacation, the world will come to an end.
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