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Old 02-01-2006
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Default Job tips - How to Survive If You Are Caught Slacking

How to Survive If You Are Caught Slacking

Surfing the Web
(These tips don't work for me, since I'm in IT and everyone in my dept knows I know better, but they may be useful to you)

* Blame your search engine.
Explain that your search engine mistakenly has provided you with an address to an inappropriate site. Alternatively, claim you made a typing error in the Web address.

* Blame your browser.
Say that someone has set a new “home page” on your Internet browser. Sounding annoyed, loudly ask, “Who keeps setting my browser to open on this sports page? I’m trying to get those new numbers for my report!” You can also claim that you’re having trouble loading certain work-related websites and so you are visiting more popular sites to see if the computer is working properly.

* Blame the website.
Claim that the window with inappropriate material opened unexpectedly while you were viewing something else. Lament that such “pop-ups” are very common and should be regulated.

* Blame an e-mail correspondent.
Claim that someone sent you the hyperlink, and you clicked it without knowing what it was.

Be Aware
• When surfing the Web, always keep the corporate intranet site up in a separate browser window. Be ready to click over quickly.
• Position your monitor at an angle that prevents anyone standing at the entrance to your office or cube from viewing the screen.

Asleep at Your Desk

* Blame work.
Say, “I’m so exhausted; I was here until midnight last night!” Do not attempt this if your boss works late and you do not.

* Blame medication.
Claim that your new allergy medicine has been making you drowsy. Say, “Those antihistamines just knock me out!”

* Blame lunch.
Say, “Wow, I guess I should not have eaten that turkey sandwich. Triptophan really makes me sleepy!”

Be Aware
When taking a nap, always rest your elbow on your desk and keep your arm perpendicular to the desktop. Your forehead should rest on your four fingers—your thumb, spread apart from the fingers, should support your jaw. This position will keep your head up and aimed at your desk. Face in a direction so that it is not immediately visible to someone approaching your desk that your eyes are closed. Keep an important group of documents in your perceived line of sight so as to appear to be reading intently.

http://www.worstcasescenarios.com/sc...?scenarioid=62
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  #2  
Old 02-05-2006
Another ACO Another ACO is offline
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ANy suggestiosn for what to do in your truck. Theres just me and my desk has a very outdated word processor made be IBM selectric. I have a drawer I have never opened since I worked her. too afraid. Sheriff said the last guy was a little wierd and collected things. Need;ess to say I dont spend much tine in the office.
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  #3  
Old 02-17-2006
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Thanks, I paid close attention to the "napping" topic... I have to admit, when I used to work for a small town, one day I pulled over because it was snowing and cold as heck and nothing going on... So I rested my arm on the laptop in the center, and just kinda "people watched"... The next thing I knew, something slammed HARD into the right side of my face!!!!
I flew up in my seat and realized I accidentally dozed off and my arm slid off the laptop and my head fell down and slammed into the laptop... Ofcourse I quickly looked around but to my luck I think no one saw me do that!!! Boy, My cheek hurt for two days though, I never did THAT again!!!
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Old 02-17-2006
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Hah! How funny!!

A cop friend of mine admitted how often he slept in the car - and so did the other officers. At one point, as a prank, they ganged up on a sleeping officer in the winter and buried the car in snow - he couldn't get out when he woke up! LOL
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Old 02-19-2006
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LOL. I know a cop who fell asleep in his patrol car while running radar, and it was snowing outside. His car got dusted pretty good, and THE MAYOR'S WIFE of all people just happened to be coming out of a building he was parked behind, and she thought it would be nice of her to dust off his patrol car so it was all nice and clean when he came outside (thinking he too was in this building somewhere) so she scrapes away at the windshielf only to reveal Officer BadCop slumped over asleep across the driver's seat... Ofcourse he flew awake like "AW %#&*!" He was amazed she never said a word to anyone about the incident!!!
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Old 02-21-2006
Doglaw Doglaw is offline
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Slack off? Well, we ACO's would NEVER do that! Well, maybe between calls. I like to go to the park beside the river and "patrol" the park; in between the ever watchful eye for unleashed dogs I read my newspaper or do crossword puzzles! Same routine works in th parking lot below the zoo!
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Old 03-01-2006
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This forum is to funny!!! When I was a cop working the hoot owl shift (10PM to 6 AM) I was across town doing securty checks on buildings and business, shaking doors and looking for out of the ordinary stuff.

My shift sergent, whom was set to retire soon, calls me to a vacant business parking lot to "discuss some issues." I asked him if I could finish my security checks in the area and meet him in a few minutes. He came back over the radio and said "oh yeah, no problem."

You have to understand my town is small about 9000 people. I finished my checks for that area and time, which took all of about 5 minutes and went to meet him at the parking lot.

If you have ever noticed, when cops approach each other to "meet" they shut thier lights off about 100 feet before pulling up next to the other cop. There is no tactical or stealth reason for this, its just done as a courtesy to the other cop.

I kill my lights, pull into the parking lot and pull right up next to my sergeant. As I pull in I roll my window down and see him with his left arm hanging out the window, his head plopped back on the head rest (almost dangling in the backseat) and his mouth wide open making the most God awfull noise I have ever heard!!! The noise this man made would make a reasonable person hopp the fence right into the criminal world because even I wanted to hurt him.

I sat there in disbelief and amazed at what I was seeing. Even in a small town people dont like cops!!!! I had a whole car sitting beside him (even pulled up next to him) and he was checked out into oblivion.

I said his name and got no response. Said it again. No response. If it had not been for the noise he was making I would have thought he was dead!! I got out of the car and went over and shook him and said his name and he woke up.

He soon retired but when I see him these days I still raze him about it. It could have proven fatal though.

Thanks for letting me share,
Doug
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Old 04-24-2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doglaw
Slack off? Well, we ACO's would NEVER do that! Well, maybe between calls. I like to go to the park beside the river and "patrol" the park; in between the ever watchful eye for unleashed dogs I read my newspaper or do crossword puzzles! Same routine works in th parking lot below the zoo!
wow I'm glad I'm not the only one!
I "patrol" the beach and knit.
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  #9  
Old 04-25-2006
dug e dug e is offline
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thexplodingirl said:
Quote:
I "patrol" the beach and knit.
Wow I wish I had a beach here in Oklahoma. I would be fired from all my jobs. I LOVE THE BEACH!!!!!

What beach do you refer? No dont tell me, I may have been to it and will strongly desire to go back! I cant stand it! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Missing the beach,
Doug
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Old 04-25-2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dug e
thexplodingirl said:
Quote:
I "patrol" the beach and knit.
Wow I wish I had a beach here in Oklahoma. I would be fired from all my jobs. I LOVE THE BEACH!!!!!

What beach do you refer? No dont tell me, I may have been to it and will strongly desire to go back! I cant stand it! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Missing the beach,
Doug
I go to moss landing, but I've been known to take my lunches in carmel.
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